i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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