Whoa Z and x make the same sound
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
porn star boner night. come get it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
