Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
