when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize