So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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