Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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