I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
