It's like a parade of train wrecks.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
