Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
