I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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