that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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