I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
