Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize