My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
