i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
