So gin and wine won't be happening again
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize