i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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