She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
