Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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