New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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