O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
