in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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