I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
