so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
