In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
