p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
