you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
