He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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