Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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