last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i think im in europe. pls send help
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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