please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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