i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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