sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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