$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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