so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
