whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
