If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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