I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
