Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
