Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
