For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My liver just had a heart attack.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
