i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
