When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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