Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Randomize