is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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