Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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