New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
