yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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