So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
