Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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