So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
