Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
operation harelip BJ is a go
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
