So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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