Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
