Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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