Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
