so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
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