Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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