Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the day after is always just damage control
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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